/ Thursday, April 18th, 2013

by Richard Bernato

FarkleJUDGE JULIA: Miss Francis, next witness

FRANCIS: We have one more your honor, we call Bernie Bizzarro to the stand.

Bernie Bizarro comes forward. He is dressed very casually, almost as a throwback to the hippies’ era. His family all similarly-dressed are in the gallery. He gives them all a big wave and wink as he takes the stand.

FRANCIS: Mr. Bizarro, I understand you have at least two things in common with Mr. Farkle and at least one that is absolutely not in common with him.

BERNIE: Well, we are all in the brotherhood of man, after all, so even our deepest darkest enemies have more in common with us than not. You do know that Love is the answer?

FRANCIS: Yes I am sure that is true. Let’s start with what you have in common.

BERNIE: Other than being brother souls?

FRANCIS: Yes Mr. Bizarro, should I narrow my question?

BERNIE: No, lady, I get it. We are Mr. Farkle’s neighbors, although I’m sure that Mr. Farkle would prefer that we are not.

FRANCIS: Because?

BERNIE: Well, Fred likes his house and his yard very tidy and well, neither of those are my family’s priorities. We like to go with the flow, if you know what I mean.

FRANCIS: So you are his neighbor, and do you share any other commonalities?

BERNIE: Yes. We both love Disney World!!!

FRANCIS: How nice, what is it that you like about Walt Disney World?

BERNIE: Oh there is so much to love. The fantasy! The whimsy! The creativity! It is the happiest place on earth you know, so magical, like the mushrooms I grow in my backyard …

FRANCIS: Well, let’s move off that for the time being. Aside from your um, life style, what else do you not have in common.

BERNIE: Well like you know, Mr. Farkle is a wonderful creature but while we both love Walt Disney World and we may even go there as often as he does, well, we just don’t do the planning thing.

FRANCIS: Please go on.

BERNIE: Well, like you know, we don’t make reservations.  We just jump in the old flower power van and motor on down when we feel the urge. We don’t make reservations. We’ll flop in any place that will have us in Orlando. We don’t make reservations for eating. We don’t use any touring plans. We are the opposite of Fred. And like you know, we are the better for it.

FRANCIS: How so?

BERNIE: No stress! No ulcers! No spreadsheets! No timetables! Sleep when we want. Get up when we want, it’s way cool that way.

FRANCIS: So you would say that your approach to touring Walt Disney World is a far better way on many levels.

BERNIE: For sure!

FRANCIS: No more questions Your Honor?

JUDGE JULIA: Mr. Philpot?

PHILPOT: Yes thank you. Hello, Mr. Bizarro.

BERNIE: Call me Bernie, man.

PHILPOT: Ok Bernie, how do you make a living?

BERNIE: Well you could say I am self-employed. Yeah, an entrepreneur. I sell what I can to those who want what I have.

PHILPOT: I think you’ll need to be more specific.

BERNIE: Well I usually deal in natural organic compounds for the health conscious.

PHILPOT: I see, Perhaps those mushrooms you mentioned earlier?

BERNIE: Perhaps.

PHILPOT: But you do love taking your family to Walt Disney World, and when you go, you deliberately go without any sort of planning whatsoever?

BERNIE: You got that right. Life is too short to plan it.

PHILPOT: Ok, you get up late, assuming you found a place to stay, you go to the parks and just kind of wander around and get on any old line that strikes your fancy. True?

BERNIE: Oh yeah, that sounds just fine!

PHILPOT: How many attractions do you think that you might actually get on, using your fly-by-the-seat-of- your-pixie-dust approach?

BERNIE: Oh maybe two or three in a day. You know, the lines get mighty long sometimes.

PHILPOT: But you do manage to get to eat every day?

BERNIE: Oh sure, but sometimes we have to try several places, even in the counter service offerings. You know the lines get mighty long sometimes.

PHILPOT: Yes, Mr. Bizarro, I do know. Now you said you make your living by selling mushrooms and the like. So would you also say that your hard-earned funds are used to their advantage on your forays into the World?

BERNIE: Well you know, by your standard, probably not.

PHILPOT: And the fact that you have no plans and don’t get to experience too many attractions with no planning that you really don’t maximize the magic so to speak?

FRANCIS: Well you know, maybe not.

PHILPOT: Thank you Mr. Bizarro. No more questions.

Have you ever gone to WDW with no plans whatsoever and just taken the trip day by day?  Is that a better way to experience the magic?  Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

Rich may be the only blogger who; had an ORIGINAL Davy Crockett coonskin cap (and wishes he still had it); watched Disney’s Wonderful World of Color in black and white; watched the Disneyland opening ceremonies on that same black and white; AND rode the original It’s a Small World in the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. In addition, he is a college professor, and a grandfather of six whom he is thoroughly dis-doctrinating as often as possible.



2 thoughts on “Farkle v. Farkle: Fred’s Neighbor Takes the Stand”

  1. Tony E (BacksideOfWater) says:

    My very first Disney trip was no plans at all because I had no idea what was there or that I was even going until 12 hours in advance.

    Here we have the 2 extremem opposite ends of the spectrum. Fred the overplanner and Bernie the no planner at all. I see myself right in the middle. I make plans in advance for resorts and I look at Touring Plans to see the crowd predictions to determine what park to do on a particular day but once I’m in park the plans stop. I don’t plan to ride for example the Jungle Cruise at 10:15 AM on the dot I walk around and if a queue is to long I’ll try it again later. I eat when I get hungry not at set times. If I mirco managed things I would have missed out of talking to Cast members, listening to the Dapper Dans , even pin trading with fellow guests. It’s all about finding a balance

  2. Dusten says:

    I feel like you miss so much when you don’t plan, especially at Disney where there are hundreds of things to choose from. Waiting in lines is not a productive use of time no matter what kind of pace you keep while touring the parks. That said, I took it slowly enough, it took me until my 4th or 5th trip to ride Space Mountain, Big Thunder and Splash. I walked right past these rides thinking “I’ll go next time” knowing I would be back in less than a year.