/ Thursday, May 16th, 2013

by Richard Bernato

FarkleFRANCIS: So Mr. Tello, it looks like you have a bit of a following, judging from the courtroom’s response.

TELLO: Well yes, sure, I have worked hard to meet the needs and interests of people like Fred. And I guess they appreciate that. I appreciate that they appreciate!

FRANCIS: You do this as public service? “Pro bono” as we attorneys would call it?

TELLO: I used to, but no longer…. It has become my career now. Although I do a lot of charity work connected to Walt Disney.

FRANCIS: Soooo, it might be in your own commercial interest to encourage a person like Fred?

TELLO: Maybe you could say that. But that isn’t the point at all.

FRANCIS: What is the point?

TELLO: Fred is the point, and how you are trying to portray him is the point. He’s no raving fanatic willing to risk life, limb, and his family for his passion. Fred should be admired for his appreciation of Disney World and for his zeal in trying to make it the best possible experience for his family.

FRANCIS: So you approve of his SWAT team approach to visiting Disney World.

PHILPOT: Your Honor I object. The word SWAT …

JUDGE JULIA: Yes Mr. Philpot, objection sustained. Jurors will disregard the word SWAT as it is meant to imply a negative, all-out fanatic, no-victims-taken-alive mindset. It will be up to jurors to decide to what extent if any, Mr. Farkle’s actions are any of those things.

FRANCIS: Mr. Tello, so you approve of Mr. Farkle’s approach to touring Disney World.

TELLO: I approve it on two counts. One is that what he does makes a lot of sense. And secondly, I approve it for those who want to maximize their magic at Walt Disney World.

FRANCIS: No more questions.

JUDGE JULIA: You may step down Mr. Tello.

(Tello rises to leave the witness stand, courtroom audience erupts into more applause. Tello is their idol.)

(JUDGE JULIA pounds gavel for silence but stifles a smile.)

JUDGE JULIA: Mr. Philpot, any more witnesses?

FRANCIS: Yes Your Honor, we call Mickey Mouse.

(A Cast Member in his Mickey Mouse costume enters the courtroom. Courtroom audience applauds again.)

FRANCIS: Your Honor, I object. Mr. Philpot is making a travesty of this proceeding.

PHILPOT: Your Honor, to the contrary, who better to comment to Mr. Farkle’s actions and motives than the Mouse? Now don’t get me wrong. I do not pretend to say that Mickey here is the actual Mouse himself. He is a Cast Member who has played this part for many years and is now entrusted by the Walt Disney Company to be one of the new talking characters. This individual is well-qualified to offer testimony about the accusations against Fred.

JUDGE JULIA: I will rule on the admissibility of this individual in our next session.

(She rises. Courtroom rises, next blog, next session, the Mouse.)

Have you ever felt like Fred–being forced to defend your love of Disney to others?

Rich may be the only blogger who; had an ORIGINAL Davy Crockett coonskin cap (and wishes he still had it); watched Disney’s Wonderful World of Color in black and white; watched the Disneyland opening ceremonies on that same black and white; AND rode the original It’s a Small World in the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. In addition, he is a college professor, and a grandfather of six whom he is thoroughly dis-doctrinating as often as possible.

 

 

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