/ Thursday, June 6th, 2013

by Richard Bernato

JUDGE JULIA: Defense your turn.

FarklePHILPOT: Thank you Your Honor. Let me begin by saying to both you and the jurors that I apologize, quite frankly for wasting your time. This suit is really kind of silly isn’t it?  Is trying a man for his innocent and benevolent passion a basis for this court? Would we put a stamp collector on trial? Would we put a Good Samaritan on trial for helping others?

And because of that, I am going to shed conventional legalese and speak from my own magical heart.

Here’s a guy whose “hobby” is Walt Disney World. Shame on him!

Here’s a guy who soaked up all that it could offer. Shame on him!

Here’s a guy who wanted to Maximize the Magic not only for himself but for anyone who made either their first or their thousandth trip to Walt Disney World. Shame on him!

OK. Here’s a guy who may have gotten carried away now and then. I guess it’s safe to say that only the most “committed” Walt Disney World fan would know which bathrooms are best to use at any given time. Although I’m also sure that at one  time or another we’d all like to know where the nearest restroom rests! Shame on him!

You know. I just realized that both the plaintiff’s attorney and I have made tactical errors.

We should have asked our witnesses questions like ” As a result of Fred’s hobby;

Did you save money”?

“Did you get more out of your time?”

“Did you get a chance to soak in the majesty of what Walt Disney World offers people all the way from a child’s eyes to a grizzled veteran’s eyes?”

Is it possible that each of us did not ask the most important question? And that would be,

“Did you have a better or a worse time at Walt Disney World as a result of Fred’s concerns for detail and for planning?”

“Did he help you Maximize the Magic”?

If we started this trial all over again I’d dare plaintiff to have asked those questions and yes I would have have asked them more clearly too. Because in the end, the Farkle Family and all the witness – guests we could have called would have overwhelmingly said yes!

So it its really hard isn’t it? To come in with any sort of a verdict other than “innocent” for Fred Farkle.

Thank you Your Honor.

JUDGE JULIA: Thank you Mr. Philpot. I am going to turn this case over to the jurors. In this case the jurors will be those who have followed this case in this blog and who will vote by posting to this blog below. We will give a reasonable time for readers to consider testimony and evidence and are charged with deciding whether Fred Farkle is guilty or not guilty of over the top / excessive obsession with planning for Walt Disney World trips.

Check in NEXT WEEK as YOU can act as a juror and be apart of determining Fred’s fate.

Rich may be the only blogger who; had an ORIGINAL Davy Crockett coonskin cap (and wishes he still had it); watched Disney’s Wonderful World of Color in black and white; watched the Disneyland opening ceremonies on that same black and white; AND rode the original It’s a Small World in the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. In addition, he is a college professor, and a grandfather of six whom he is thoroughly dis-doctrinating as often as possible.

One Response to "Farkle v. Farkle: The Defense’s Closing Statements"

  1. Of course he is guilty. Fabulously guilty. Good for him!

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