"The Virtual DWT Gym"

[butlers]

Deb, I shouldn't be here at all right now, but the powers that be have decided we're not movin' out until Thursday morning now (*groan*), and sounds as though Todd is having some issues right now (heck, from what I've gathered about Todd, he's got subscriptions), so we're gonna have to count on you good patrons of the gym to keep the place going until we're back.
By all means, feel free to keep postin' those queries, thoughts, and even your own experiences. I promise to check 'em all out as soon as I'm back in town, and in front of the computer again.

BODY BY JAKE, you made me smile this morning, i was feeling bad, i was feeling mighty low, okay let me stop sounding like sophia from the color purple... you know all your kettlebell girls are gonna miss you, does it have to be for 2 weeks .. we will keep posting our questions, but if we don't hear back from you, we'll have to resort to hearing the workout thoughts of mike and dan from the downstairs mechanics room, who only knows about drill bits... the horror jake, the horror.
By the way sir, do you think you can add a machine that has m & m's, and raisinettes (sp) see you around man... oooo and how about some

[butlers]

can't remember if this was already tackled but, do you think that those ab machines along with a high cardio workout will give your abs a nice workout... ab blaster, cruches, ect.. so on and so on.

[Conceited Ape]

As a general guideline, I don't like machines at all. For me to get into a detailed description of the reasons why would result in a post only slightly shorter than the unabridged Canterbury Tales (in 1387 Chaucer did writte this worke, and did therebye sette the stayge for English studenttes yette unbourne to hayte his guttes). They're better than nothing, but then again; just about anything is better than nothing. If you have access to barbells, kettlebells, or medicine balls, you're much more in business than you would be if all you had were those goofy machines (personally, I'd work with my own bodyweight before I'd use most weight machines--the cross-body cable machine is one that I treat like the neighborhood drug pusher).

As a former fitness instructor, I've always made it a point to try something before I knocked it or recommended it, and this philosophy meant that I subjected myself to all kinds of downright idiotic gimmicks that promised to be the magical abdominal pill. Supplements, things sold on cable TV infomercials at 3 AM, and even this one system that required you to grease up your stomach and apply small electronic devices over your midsection with a belt, to "zap" your abs into a six-pack (I'm willing to bet there are more than just a handful of Chinese factory workers who can't believe the trash they make for Americans, but I digress). Deb, and anyone else in pursuit of the coveted flat stomach, these things are worthless.

Again, the abdominals are a muscle, just like any other, and if you want to make them stronger, you need some real resistance; not hundreds of mindless, easy reps of whatever the gizmo of the week is dictating. If you are unable to hack the Janda situps and drawbridge drills described earlier, one way to build yourself up to this would be to simply tuck your toes under the couch and perform full situps while cradling a heavy medicine ball into your chest. Once you can do more than twenty or so of these, extend your arms out in front of you as you situp and lay back down. Once those get too easy? Hold the ball overhead for the entire motion. You get the hang of those, I'd say it's time you moved onto the Jandas.

For those of you who enjoy your primetime TV and are up to the challenge, keep the medi-ball next to the couch. When those commercials rear their ugly heads, tuck your feet under the sofa and start busting out those situps with your spherical training buddy (imagine how hard your guts would be if you had started doing this a couple weeks ago!). As always, focus on your total body tension, and don't "throw" yourself up to complete the exercise.

Once again (to the amusement of Deb, I'm sure), I'm also going to recommend kettlebell lifting for a strong, lean midsection. High-repetition ballistic drills with these things truly work wonders, and in pretty short order, to boot. Back in 1983, a Soviet researcher named Voryopayev conducted a study involving two groups of college kids, who would be tested at a later date on the following events: pushups, pullups, situps, a broad jump, a 100-meter sprint and a one kilometer run. One group followed a standard physical training regimine that put emphasis on these tasks. The experimental group just hit the K-bells. On test day, in spite of the lack of practice at the prescribed events, the kettlebell group turned in better scores than the first group in every single test (the "WTH?" effect in action).

And before I forget, yes--a good high-octane cardio is just what the doc ordered to help you reach those abs you're after. As I've said before, you can bust out abdominal routines day in and day out, but if you're carrying around a spare tire over your midsection, you're not gonna see a thing in the mirror until you melt that thing away. Jumping rope and high-rep kettlebell lifting are the two best means of doing so that I've ever found (after just a moment of doing either, your heart will be pounding like a jackhammer, and you'll be sweating like Mike Tyson taking an SAT).

[butlers]

Once again (to the amusement of Deb, I'm sure), I'm also going to recommend kettlebell lifting for a strong, lean midsection. High-repetition ballistic drills with these things truly work wonders, and in pretty short order, to boot. Jumping rope and high-rep kettlebell lifting are the two best means of doing so that I've ever found (after just a moment of doing either, your heart will be pounding like a jackhammer, and you'll be sweating like Mike Tyson taking an SAT).

LOL Hans... Thanks once again for the words of wisdom....
So i had started back with the jump ropping.. woo hoo, i can now jump for 10 mins... oh yea.. i know that is nothing compared to what you jump, but when i first started i only lasted 1 min, 3 mins tops... and yes, that jack hammer is there...on the floor rolling at the thought of Mike Tyson taking SAT...

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

[butlers]

oooh she's doing them, she's doing them... hooray for snow, hooray for snow...

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

I am really thinking of cussing out this gym! I didn't know I had muscles there...

[butlers]

Now Now Snow, you can't be going around cussing the gym leaders out, Hans did warn you that once you start exercising that you will feel the burn in places you didn't even know you had... so no cussing folks out mam, must be all of the jumping rope you and doing, and the sits up and that stepper thing i saw you on.. You must have did those kettlebell drills he was talking about.. goodie for you dear.

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

KBs--them's fighting words. Can't get my DH away from them. Thought they were mine!!! I need to read that book again, well, for the first time. Couldn't get him away from the book either.

Looks like there are only 2 members of this gym- other people are just chicken.

[butlers]

you serious you got KB's.. oh Hans will be so proud of you... and

YEA, FEEL THE BURN BABY, FEEL THE BURN, THEY RUNNIN SCARED FROM HANS.. Dag on chickens... We ain't scared and their is no room for chickens in this gym, management don't play

[Tinker Bell]

Yeah, I'll admit I'm chicken!

(Sneaking a peek in here while the owners are away, checking out the place).

Can't get off my chair on one leg, it's hopeless, I'm beyond saving i'm afraid...

But I'm thinking about getting the jump rope/bra combo "to go" on my way out.

[butlers]

well Tink you know that Hans will have some finger pointing on this one, but he'll go gentle on you and show you what you are doing wrong and help you to do it the right way... in the words on our dear trainer Hans.. whatever you do, don't give up, hang in there, and before you know it you will be doing those 1 leg pounces in know time, just please don't bounce... THANKS

[lovedisprinces]

I did a 10-mile bike ride today and it felt good. I didnt want to waste money on gas to go over to school for a rummage sale(which takes like 10 min by car) so i figured it wont take that long to get to school on bike. What i didnt take into consideration was the fact that either im on main highways w/ 3 ft dirt shoulders or im on dirt backroads and in new construction areas. It was a very interesting ride. Only took 1/2 hour each way and actually became more fun than i thought it was going to be. Now if only i could give up my extra 20 min of sleep every morning id b in such good shape. Its a very very hilly path to school.

[Conceited Ape]

(Okay, don't panic. Turns out that we've got the night off, and there just so happened to be a little Internet cafe not too far away.)

Teacher Lady, have you tried explaining to the DH that those kettlebells are intended for female use? A boy really needs to be playing with at least a 26-pounder (although most of the guys I've worked with can start off right away with the next size up, the 35'ers). If you can get him fired-up on the K-bells with you, that will go a long way for you both. They're fun all by your onesies, but you really can't beat the energy of those handled cannonballs when you're in a group.

Up those irons, Teacher Lady!

LDP, I've gotta say, ten miles in half an hour is a pretty darn good clip; doubly so if you're not used to peddling for a commute. If you can do this safely (once again, I'm truly blessed to have a perfectly good state-sanctioned bike path from my front door to work, so ten-speed is how I like to get from A to B), it can go a long way to keeping you in shape. Thirty minutes there, thirty minutes back? You've got yourself an hour of great aerobic training five days a week, and as a bonus, I can think of few better ways to flip the bird to the oil companies right now.

[butlers]

Man the gym hasn't had any activity lately.. Maybe i'll go over to the kettlebell corner and lift some for my good friend Hans... He is slacking on his duties, we may have to hire another trainer... Just Kidding B.B.J, i know where you are! We can't wait for you to return to give us some more of your insight on what not to do, and what we are suppose to be doing.. So i'll go have a and some until you get back...