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General Discussions Discuss Lets make Belle smile! in the Community Center forums; Cool-I have never seen someone post while I was actually on the thread. Okay, not that big of a deal. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmellows? He didn't ...
  1. #31
    SnwhtNdwrfs's Avatar
    SnwhtNdwrfs is offline Dancing with the dwarfs!
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    Cool-I have never seen someone post while I was actually on the thread. Okay, not that big of a deal.

    Why did the elephant stand on the marshmellows?
    He didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate.


  2. #32
    Tampa is offline No longer in service
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadesofgreen
    Q: Why don't blonds eat M&M's?
    A: They're too hard to get out of the shell.

    I thought it was because the W's were the duds.

  3. #33
    crashbunny's Avatar
    crashbunny is offline Moderator
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    that is the correct answer

    and dont ask me how I know......

    spent a good deal of time fixing those pesky W's...

  4. #34
    shadesofgreen's Avatar
    shadesofgreen is offline I can write whatever I want up here now? Cool!
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    All right, enough blond jokes, I guess. . .

    Q: What do you call a Sailor who can read and write?
    A: Sir
    What I say 100 times each day:
    "It's not a Disney Resort even though it's on Disney property!"

  5. #35
    Conceited Ape's Avatar
    Conceited Ape is offline 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
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    One fine day, a young man named Luke was sitting at the marina in his brand new sail boat, which he had patriotically christened "The Fourth of July." He was sipping beers, and waiting for his buddy Opie to show up so they could go for a little cruise.

    Meanwhile, Opie is running a little late, since he had to take his lovely wife to the obstetrician. Fortunately for the couple, the doctor was a fellow by the name of Juan, and he happened to be Opie's second cousin, so they were given a pretty good discount on the check-up.

    Luke was more than just a little tipsy by the time Opie finally pulled up at the marina, and as his old buddy walked down the gangplank, Luke got to his feet and waved, but lost his balance in his stupor, and nearly fell overboard. Thankfully, Opie ran to his side just in time, and pulled his friend safely back to the deck.

    So you see, it was O.B. Juan's kin, Opie, who saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the "Fourth."
    "The society that draws too great of a distinction between its scholars and its warriors will end up having its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." --probably Thucydides

  6. #36
    Conceited Ape's Avatar
    Conceited Ape is offline 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
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    Since shadesofgreen just had to go there..........

    Q: Why are Marines engineered with only one more brain cell than a horse?
    A: So they don't relieve themselves during parades.
    "The society that draws too great of a distinction between its scholars and its warriors will end up having its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." --probably Thucydides

  7. #37
    dzney4lyf's Avatar
    dzney4lyf is offline i come with a warning
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conceited Ape

    So you see, it was O.B. Juan's kin, Opie, who saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the "Fourth."
    Yeah I'm blonde alright.. I had to read that one a few times before it clicked!!!

  8. #38
    shadesofgreen's Avatar
    shadesofgreen is offline I can write whatever I want up here now? Cool!
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    A group of Sailors stood in formation, the Drill Instructor said "All right, you idiots, fall out!"
    As the rest of the platoon went on their way, one Sailor remained at attention.
    The Drill Instructor walked over and stared him down until the Sailor smiled and said "There sure were a lot of them, wasn't there, sir?"
    What I say 100 times each day:
    "It's not a Disney Resort even though it's on Disney property!"

  9. #39
    Conceited Ape's Avatar
    Conceited Ape is offline 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
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    Q: What is the proper nomenclature for a fugitive midget fortune teller?
    A: A small medium at large.

    Mahatma Ghandi, due to his considerable amount of fasting, was quite thin and physically weak. When he actually did eat, it was usually exotic foods, and very seldom was he afforded the luxury of a toothbrush afterwards. As was the cultural norm, he often traveled barefoot, resulting in some pretty tough feet. As you can see, Ghandi was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. Wonder if he knew Mary Poppins.....?
    "The society that draws too great of a distinction between its scholars and its warriors will end up having its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." --probably Thucydides

  10. #40
    shadesofgreen's Avatar
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    A navy officer comes over to a Marine PFC and asks, "Do you have change for a dollar?"
    The Marine replies "Sure, buddy." To which the navy man shouts "That's no way to address an officer, Private! Let's try that again! Now, do you have change for a dollar?"
    "SIR,NO, SIR!"
    What I say 100 times each day:
    "It's not a Disney Resort even though it's on Disney property!"

  11. #41
    shadesofgreen's Avatar
    shadesofgreen is offline I can write whatever I want up here now? Cool!
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    Q: What is the navy?
    A: A lesser form of Marine life.
    What I say 100 times each day:
    "It's not a Disney Resort even though it's on Disney property!"

  12. #42
    20K's Avatar
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    These are just fantastic, keep 'em coming!
    And trust you to come up with a Marine one, shadesofgreen!


    "I really hope that people won't cherry-pick my quotes in the future
    and use them out of context to justify things that I would never sign-off on."

    - Walt Disney

  13. #43
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    BelleGurl is offline LETS BRING IN 2006!!!!
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    This has got to be the sweetest (and most funny) thread ever! You definetly put a smile to my face. Thank you guys so much.
    Izzy





  14. #44
    shadesofgreen's Avatar
    shadesofgreen is offline I can write whatever I want up here now? Cool!
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    Awwww.....

    Q: How do you end a Taliban bingo game?
    A: Call out B-52
    What I say 100 times each day:
    "It's not a Disney Resort even though it's on Disney property!"

  15. #45
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    Things To Do At Wal-Mart..."



    1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they are not looking.



    2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.



    3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restroom.



    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.



    5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.



    6. Challenge other customers to a duel with tubes of gift wrap.



    7. Put M & Ms on layaway.



    8. Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.



    9. Set up a tent in the camping departments; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.



    10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"



    11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.



    12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I.Joes and X-Men.



    13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.



    14. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.



    15. Switch signs on the men and women's bathrooms.



    16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."



    17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.



    18. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.



    19. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "Pick me!! PICK ME!!!!!"



    20. When announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream,

    "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"



    21. Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out much and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.



    22. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
    UF Alumni: '04 BABA, '06 MAB

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