Lets make Belle smile!

[disneydreamer98]

I thought it would be nice to start a thread for the sole purpose of bringing a smile to Belle's face. Feel free to post anything that you find appropriate in fulfilling this task, whether it be a joke, a verse from the bible, funny picture or an inspirational quote or phrase. Dare I say to go as far as bringing a good laugh out of her....after all, they say that laughter can be the best medicine!

I will start with a good ole Disney joke (at my own expense....for those of you who do not know, I am blonde! )....


Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World left". After thinking for a minute, the blonde driver said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.



Let the smiles begin!!!!!

[Conceited Ape]

Two individuals (feel free to fill in your own preference of gender/hair color or whatnot) applied for work at the MGM Studios. Before they were hired, they were both interviewed separately, and were both asked one final question: "How many D's are in Indiana Jones?"

The first applicant thought for a moment and replied, "One."

The second applicant proceeded to count all of their fingers, all of their toes, asked for scratch paper and a calculator, and after several moments of feverish computing, answered "Fifty-eight."

When asked how they possibly came up with that, this individual rolled their eyes, and recited--

"Dum dee dum daaaaah, dum dee daaaaah........"

[disneydreamer98]

Mary Poppins, hungry and tired from taking care of kids all day, popped into an all-night diner. After glancing at the menu she decided upon two eggs, sunny side up. For a side dish she ordered a helping of cauliflower with melted cheese over the top. She devoured the cauliflower with cheese quite readily. Very tasty. But the eggs were horrible. They were much too runny for the practically perfect nanny and she had to send them back . . . twice! While paying for the meal she noticed a stack of "customer comment" cards near the cash register. On one of the cards she wrote, "Super cauliflower cheese, but eggs were quite atrocious"!

Corny I know...but did it make you smile?

[disneydreamer98]

How about this one....

Why did Tigger stink?

Because he was playing with Pooh all day!!!!

[shadesofgreen]

There was a man who wasn't the smartest man in the world, but he had a good heart and was a great Disney fan. One day his friend came by to visit and saw him working on the computer. He noticed the username was "Topekamickeyminniedonaldgoofy" and asked why it was so long.
The first man replied, "They said it had to have at least 4 characters and a capital."

(I know, I know. . . . it's stale as a 10 cent bagel)

[Tampa]

[disneydreamer98]

I was going to add "pictures" to the list of items to use to make Belle smile so thanks for posting this Joey! Now get back to your Pic A Day thread and start posting again!!!

[dzney4lyf]

Now that's funny Tampa...

Um.. a non Disney joke... (if that's okay)

There was a blonde who wanted to make some money, so she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the park and grabbed a boy and pulled him behind a tree. She wrote a note that said:

I've kidnapped your son! Leave a bag of 10,000 dollars next to this tree tomorrow at 3 pm.
-Signed: A Blonde.

Then she pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his mom. She went back the next day and sure enough, there was a bag. She looked in the bag and found 10,000 dollars along with a note that said:

Here's your money, but how could you do this to a fellow blonde?

[dzney4lyf]

another Blonde moment...


The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "What is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." Then the sheriff asked, "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?".

"Today and tomorrow." replied the blonde.

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?", asked the sheriff.

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

The sheriff replied, "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

[dzney4lyf]

Yes another (remember though I too am a blonde)

A blonde walks into a barber shop with headphones on. She tells the barber what cut she wants, but that he has to cut around her headphones. The barber looks a little puzzled but agrees. So, he starts cutting the best he can but accidently he knocks the headphones off. Within a few seconds the girl dies. Very startled, the man walks over and picks up the headphones and hears, "breathe in, breathe out."

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

Do you know why there aren't many blond pharmacists?


They don't know how to get the little bottle into the printer.

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

Two brunettes and a blond are running away from the police through a small village. They run into the marketplace and hide in various lidded baskets. The first brunette hid with some puppies, the second hid with some kittens and the blond hid with some potatoes. As the police poke each basket, they reach the first brunette's basket. She starts barking, "Arf, Arf" The police move on. They poke the second brunette's basket and she starts saying, "Meow, Meow." They move on. They poke the blond's basket and she start saying, "Potato, Potato."

[disneydreamer98]

Oaky, okay!!! Uncle! This is a "make Belle smile" thread...not beat up on all the blondes thread!!!!

[shadesofgreen]

Q: Why don't blonds eat M&M's?
A: They're too hard to get out of the shell.

[dzney4lyf]

The passenger in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver, so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window.
The startled passenger said, "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something."
The driver says, "Not your fault. It's my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."