punny things

[tiggerguy]

Power saws are for people who like short-cuts.

[tiggerguy]

I wanted to exercise last night but it just didn't work out

[ChipNDale]

People have a happy time vacationing in Ireland because they are walking on Eire... heheheh

[fungus_01]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

[tiggerguy]

Some prison inmates fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.

[Rocketeer]

At the rum factory loading dock, all of the workers speak in verse.

It shows that rhymes fly when you're heaving rum.

[tiggerguy]

Those who make magnets can be quite attractive.

[Rocketeer]

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully.
Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"
The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

[tiggerguy]

uh, Craig .....http://www.disneyworldtrivia.com/for...&postcount=104


to which you replied How did you know I liked math

[tiggerguy]

The diners were fully sated, unaware that the wurst was yet to come.

[ChipNDale]

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

And those are my contributions for today!

[Rocketeer]

A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.
When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded. He replied 'Not guilty Mallard'.

[Rocketeer]

Why was the Zombie surprised when his ghoulfiend showed up for their date at 11pm?
He didn't ex-spectre until midnight.

[Rocketeer]

uh, Craig .....http://www.disneyworldtrivia.com/for...&postcount=104


to which you replied How did you know I liked math

Um ... a thousand pardons, Brian! Let's see - that post was from waay back in June. That makes sense - anything more than a month old I completely erase from my memory. I saw that pun, thought maybe I had seen it before but knew it wasn't here - oh well.

[tiggerguy]

Correspondence citing farm machinery defects would be a Deere John letter.