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General Discussions Discuss punny things in the Community Center forums; When I saw the gorgeous blonde dame leave the tattoo parlor I knew she had trouble written all over her....
  1. #346
    tiggerguy's Avatar
    tiggerguy is offline All Around Good Guy
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    When I saw the gorgeous blonde dame leave the tattoo parlor I knew she had trouble written all over her.
    Brian
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  2. #347
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    Once upon a time, there were 2 brothers, Simon and Garth Brown. They had a dog called Walter, and they loved to take the dog Walter to their Uncle Charlie's mansion at the edge of town.

    But one day, as they arrived at the mansion, they were suprised to find that the gates were locked and they couldn't get in. Fortunately, just then, Uncle Charlie's tall chauffeur appeared at the mansion door and began walking toward the trio at the gates.

    However, the dog Walter took a sudden dislike to the tall chauffeur, and began barking and growling, making a huge noise. Neighbours leaned out of the windows of their mansions (the dog really was making a lot of noise) and asked what the hubbub was, and one of the neighbours replied:

    "Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur's troubled Walter."

  3. #348
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    tiggerguy is offline All Around Good Guy
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    With a gun in the kitchen you can take a potshot.
    Brian
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  4. #349
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    tiggerguy is offline All Around Good Guy
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    A sparrow can't hold much in its beak but a pelican.
    Brian
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  5. #350
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    tiggerguy is offline All Around Good Guy
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    Lions always take great pride in their families.
    Brian
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  6. #351
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    tiggerguy is offline All Around Good Guy
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    'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank.
    Brian
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  7. #352
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    MandaBella is offline "She who must be loved."
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    The IRS doesn't like to deal in cents.
    Amanda
    always plotting, planning, and looking forward to our next adventure...


  8. #353
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    Speaking of the IRS...

    Income tax-time is when you test your powers of deduction.

  9. #354
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    Ever since Molly moved to Montana she wanted a shiny new kitchen with chrome on the range
    Brian
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  10. #355
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    Do the people who climb the world's highest mountain ever rest?
    Brian
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  11. #356
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    SnwhtNdwrfs is offline Dancing with the dwarfs!
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    Hey Brian- you are up early with these puns! Don't you Ever Rest?


  12. #357
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    Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys.
    Brian
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  13. #358
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    disneydame2004 is offline Celebrate Everyday!
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    King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
    Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
    -Pat (Disneydame2004)
    Dream Team Auction Coordinator




    Help make a child smile! Dream Team Project Firstgiving Page

  14. #359
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    Many descendants of early Mexicans have the kinds of jobs one would expect - as techs.
    Brian
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  15. #360
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    Bert was a cheese maker in France. He was also keen on raising money for charities. So one year he decides he's going to run in the WDW marathon, dressed up as a piece of cheese, to raise some money.
    He starts training for the event, and getting sponsors to sign his forms. Everything is looking good.
    And then comes the day of the race. From all his travels to Orlando, he oversleeps, and only just arrives at the start line on time. And the cheese outfit is much heavier than he thought it would be. It's a disaster. He sets off running, but before the first corner, he is already in last place.
    His friends and collegues are in the crowd, and they see this, so they decide to shout some encouragement to him.
    So they all shout in unison as he gets close: "Camembert!"


    * * Craig's Factoid - Camembert is a world famous fine cheese from Camembert in Normandy, France.

    "Oh, now I get it" - sorry.

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