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General Discussions Discuss punny things in the Community Center forums; William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by ...
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    William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by the citizens of his town because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them.

    Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. But when they had heard the story, the two old ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake 100 pies themselves, and sell them for 2 cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging.

    It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon they had managed to bring down the price of all kinds of pastry in Philadelphia.

    In fact, even to this very day, their acheivements are remembered as the remarkable Pie rates of Penn's aunts.

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    I had an appointment with the chiropractor, but I backed out.
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    Two podiatrists opened their offices on the same street. They were arch enemies.

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    The hiking shop employs people from all walks of life.
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    Hey Brian - Speaking of hiking, my friend Max hates going up steep hills.
    He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.

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    The fisherman kept bragging about the big fish he caught, but he would not be very pacific about where he caught it.
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    Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison? She was a small medium at large.
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    ^^ A midget is the center engine on a 3-engine plane.

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    Pour hot water down a rabbit hole and you get a hot cross bunny.
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    There is evidence that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers, but unfortunately all the league records were destroyed in a fire.
    Thus we'll sadly never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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    A boy saving up for a car has a lot of driving ambition.
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    Sheila loved her two dogs, but they were very disobedient, so she decided to take them to obedience classes.
    The class was run by an old man. He was very strict but seemed to get good results, and after several months of regular attendance things had improved to such a degree that Sheila was even considering entering her pets into a dog show.
    But then one day, disaster struck. Sheila had to baby-sit for her young nephew. All evening, the boy teased the dogs, and by the end of the day both dogs were back to their old habits - all the hard work and training was undone in a single evening; it was as if they had never been to class at all.
    Worst of all, it was only a few weeks before the dog show, and she had already registered her entry. What could she do?

    In desperation, Sheila decided to call a friend of hers who also had two dogs of the same type that did behave themselves, and asked to borrow them. Her friend agreed, and at the next class Sheila arrived as usual with two well-behaved dogs.
    But the old man wasn't fooled for a moment - as soon as he saw them he knew they were the wrong dogs, so he called Sheila over to the side of the class.

    "It was a good try," he said, once he'd heard the story, "but you should have realised that you can't trick an old teach with new dogs."

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    That skeleton thinks he's just bad to the bone.”
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