punny things

[Rocketeer]

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

[tiggerguy]

The trumpeter blew it while auditioning for the symphony.

[Rocketeer]

The trumpeter blew it while auditioning for the symphony.

Hey - now that's not funny. I 'blew' it years ago, playing trumpet, while auditioning. Humpf.

[tiggerguy]

When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said 'I won't stand in your way'.

[tiggerguy]

Dr. Jekyll's more successful second formula turned him into a world-class sprinter rather than a violent psychopath, proving that you can run but you can't always Hyde.

[tiggerguy]

The new flour company executive was put through the mill.

[Rocketeer]

After riding the tea cups again and again, little Timmy had quite the Disney spell.

[tiggerguy]

Packing up and relocating to a new home can be a moving experience.

[tiggerguy]

When asked how the season was going, the baseball coach replied saying that it was in full swing.

[tiggerguy]

While training to work at Coca Cola he was given a pop quiz.

[SnwhtNdwrfs]

These crack me up. No pun. Just a statement.

[Rocketeer]

It turns out that the "Old King Cole" of nursery rhyme fame is loosely based on a 14th century ruler.

The slightly mad monarch is best known for his decree that the entire fiefdom's crop of lettuce be diced and drenched in mayonnaise.

He called it, of course, Cole's Law.

[tiggerguy]

The situation in the kitchen is so terrible that it's going from batter to waffle.

[tiggerguy]

The astronauts said their experience on the moon was out of this world

[Rocketeer]

Sir Wilber was one of the lesser known knights of the round table, but he was an accomplished furniture maker. His latest creation was a magnificient armoir which he had covered with pure silver plate. When the piece was all polished up, it shined like nothing anyone had ever seen.

The medieval hero was not ready to settle down yet, but Gracie, his girl, wanted to get married right away. She had become tired of waiting and decided to go to Wilber and pop the question herself. When Wilber saw the woman coming, he jumped into the armoir to hide.

Gracie entered Wilber's quarters and looked around. She didn't see anybody and turned to leave. Suddenly Wilber sneezed. Gracie ran to the armoir and flung the door open. there stood Wilber: he was trapped!

The next day, the castle newsletter's headline proclaimed: "Lady Gracie Finds Her Knight In Shining Armoir!"