punny things

[tiggerguy]

Men are like steel because they are worthless when they lose their temper.

[tiggerguy]

He was able to listen to his favorite radio show in the morning because he had an AM radio

[tiggerguy]

Did you see guys that Bob the ventriloquist hangs out with? They're nothing special, just a bunch of dummies.

[tiggerguy]

To win a pavement construction contract your company has to be able to make the grade.

[tiggerguy]

Gardeners always know the ground rules.

[tiggerguy]

Dermatologists often make rash statements.

[Rocketeer]

A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris, but was caught 2 blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
All the thief could say for himself was: “I had no MONET to buy DEGAS to make the VAN GOGH. But I tried for it anyway because I had nothing TOULOUSE!”

[tiggerguy]

That skeleton thinks he's just bad to the bone.

[tiggerguy]

Those who like sport fishing can really get hooked.

[tiggerguy]

Fortune tellers have to work on their prophetability.

[tiggerguy]

Those who watch too much football will wear out their end zone.

[tiggerguy]

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

[tiggerguy]

His surgeon wanted to give him a free lobotomy saying, "think nothing of it".

[tiggerguy]

A music store had a small sign which read: Bach in a Minuet.

[tiggerguy]

Some musicians can be sharp, which is not natural.