punny things

[tiggerguy]

Those who daydream in the bath tub are wishy-washy.

[tiggerguy]

When a thief stole several volumes from the library he was quickly booked.

[tiggerguy]

The truly enlightened have homes with two Karma garages.

[tiggerguy]

Fashionable women in Indiana all wear designer Hoosiery.

[tiggerguy]

What is the favorite game on Navy ships? Seaman Says.

[disneymystic]

A frog goes into a bank, and hops up to the loan officer. The loan officer says, "My name is John Paddywack. Can I help you?" The frog says, "Yeah, I'd like to borrow some money." The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, "Okay, what's your name?" The frog says, "Kermit Jagger." The loan officer says, "Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?" The frog says, "Yeah, he's my dad." The loan officer says, "Okay. Ummm...do you have any collateral?" The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says, "Will this do?" The loan officer says, "Hmmm...I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager." The frog says, "Oh, tell him I said hi. He knows me." The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, "Excuse me, but there's this frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing, I'm not ever sure what it is." The manager says, "It's a knick-knack, Paddywack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[tiggerguy]

Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

[tiggerguy]

No matter what you colic, a baby crying for hours is a pain!

[tiggerguy]

Lions don't have to worry about every little detail in life...just the mane thing.

[tiggerguy]

When the tennis-playing judge got sued, the ball was in his court.

[tiggerguy]

The price of the big fan blew me away.

[tiggerguy]

The Loch Ness monster eats fish and ships.

[tiggerguy]

A photographer taking pictures of golfers says "watch the birdie".

[tiggerguy]

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed

[tiggerguy]

Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.