punny things

[tiggerguy]

If a clock had legs, time would run out

[tiggerguy]

If you play around with a guillotine, you'll beheaded for an accident.

[tiggerguy]

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

[tiggerguy]

Hotel sign: Do drop in to the Dew-drop Inn

[tiggerguy]

There is a small village constantly annoyed by all the racket. All 500 villagers suffer from insomnia; they just can't sleep. They call themselves the Indian napless 500.

[tiggerguy]

If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.

[tiggerguy]

A dozen dogs were stolen from a pet shop on Tuesday. Police say they have no leads.

[tiggerguy]

The Alpine Skiing competition started poorly and went downhill from there.

[tiggerguy]

The man brought an umbrella with him into the ice cream store because he heard there was a chance of sprinkles.

[tiggerguy]

The psychic went out of business. I wonder if she saw that coming.

[tiggerguy]

A dog breeder crossed a setter and a pointer at Christmas time and got a pointsetter.

[tiggerguy]

Why do archers shoot arrows? Could it be they are trying to get a point across?

[tiggerguy]

When asked how the season was going, the baseball coach replied saying that it was in full swing.

[tiggerguy]

He put an orange in his boxing glove so he could have a fruit punch.

[tiggerguy]

A man walked into a bar with a lump of asphalt under one arm and said to the bartender - A whiskey please, and one for the road.