punny things

[tiggerguy]

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

[tiggerguy]

You decide what kind of light bulbs to buy by a process of illumination.

[tiggerguy]

If an actress has a screaming role, can we say she eeks out a living?

[tiggerguy]

Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red.

[kevinkx7]

Good post. Thank you so much for this lovely sharing.

[tiggerguy]

Seven days without a pun makes one weak

[tiggerguy]

When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said 'I won't stand in your way'.

[prickle]

Place your birthcertificate in front of fan, and you will be blown away.

[tiggerguy]

A man had a dog called Minton.

One day it ate two shuttlec ocks.

When the owner found out, he said "bad Minton!"

[tiggerguy]

After a day of changing her triplet's diapers, the new mother was feeling rather pooped.

[tiggerguy]

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

[tiggerguy]

A man had an ice delivery business. Most of his customers were bar owners. One day, he had two more stops to make. One at Barb's Place and one at Sue's Stop. Barb had forgotten to order ice this week and asked if he had any extra.

The man said, "No, I only have ice for Sue."

[trickster]

These are great, Brian!

[tiggerguy]

My cavity wasn't fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.

[tiggerguy]

Late the other night I was out in my vegetable garden giving them (the vegetables) a hard time.

I was later arrested for disturbing the peas.