punny things

[tiggerguy]

The barber did well at house breaking as he was good at cutting locks.

[tiggerguy]

There was a fireman who kept going back to college and finally got third degree burnout.

[tiggerguy]

Jackhammer operators like to break new ground.

[tiggerguy]

Most hunters are nice because they're such deer people.

[tiggerguy]

When traveling between Russia and Alaska, you first must get your Bering Strait.

[tiggerguy]

The concession stand at the circus had very good coffee. It was the greatest joe on earth.

[tiggerguy]

Some moss took a lichen to a tree.

[tiggerguy]

Giving praise is when you let off esteem.

[tiggerguy]

One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.

[tiggerguy]

When writing out drink recipes you have to have a first draft.

[tiggerguy]

When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

[tiggerguy]

When the electrican apprentice made mistakes, his mother grounded him.

[tiggerguy]

After punching his computer and breaking his hand, the guy required tech knuckle support.

[tiggerguy]

The cosmetology student was sick on the day of the final exam. Now she has to take a Make Up exam.

[tiggerguy]

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back to their business. Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just say "moo." Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, "Moo? What's the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you just stand there unharmed ?" "Isn't it obvious?" the bull replies. "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."