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General Discussions Discuss GrumpyDude - Temporarily Out Of Service in the Community Center forums; i've made some great friends here, and a lot of great memories and it hurts me to say this that i'm not going to be around much for a while. ...
  1. #1
    GrumpyDude's Avatar
    GrumpyDude is offline Unfortunately, this user's actions have resulted in him/her being BANNED from the site
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    GrumpyDude - Temporarily Out Of Service

    i've made some great friends here, and a lot of great memories and it hurts me to say this that i'm not going to be around much for a while. don't know how long, may be a week, a month, a year................i can't say how long. some great advice someone once told me which has worked is not to put a timeframe on things, just roll with it. so, can't say when i'll be back

    a lot of things have been happening in my life over the course of the past few months all ending with my wife and i deciding this past weekend to end our marriage and go our seperate ways.

    not sure when it began, for me, i pin it on the miscarriage we suffered before our daughter was born. we had underlying issues which were made bigger and more complicated by bigger issues we had suffered, the miscarriage, medical issues with our daughter, etc. and, after months and months of discussions, we could never get past them. the discussions turned to arguements, the arguements turned to fights, the fights became more frequent and intense...........and then we realized that we had been fighting in front of Megan, and it was taking its toll on her.

    for several weeks, we knew something had to be done, and with Megan with some urgency. we had discussed staying together and counseling, but we knew what our problems were and neither side was willing to budge or felt we were being heard. so, it all came to a head this friday, when we decided to end things while we were still friends and all is amicable.

    we still love each other, we are still great friends, we are still in the house together for the time being..............just some where along the way we gave up being husband and wife to each other. in the end, i could no longer be what she needed me to be, and she could not be what i needed her to be.

    it is sad, but it's good in that there is no bad guy in this situation. everything is very peaceful, and we have been in total agreement with everything. the hardest part is my daughter, who i have spent the better part of the weekend crying over.

    also, what adds to my decision, is Lori. most people here know that her and i have had a close relationship on the site. what most people also don't know is that we had a close relationship offline as well.

    while my marriage was in trouble, her's too was also having its issues. so, it started in that we were able to sound off and vent to one another, someone who can relate and listen. i think what didn't help the situation is that we are two very similiar people, and each made up for qualities lacking in our spouses. as our marriages got rockier and rocker, our relationship grew stronger.

    now, for the record, yes, how we approached things was wrong, but we did no wrong doing together. we both knew we could only proceed so far while married and very often shared "wait for the papers to be signed". although the physical relationship was not there, there was a very strong mental and emotional connection.

    what does this have to do with me taking time away.........?

    last night, lori and her husband reconciled and agreed to give it another shot. she told him everything, even about me, and had promised him we'd never speak to one another during the course of their marriage. i can respect that and understand it completely, but it does hurt. i think the world of her, and am going to miss her, but it is best for her, and myself. i came to the realization that during the next few months, i need to dedicate energies to my daughter and to myself during this transition. pursuing a relationship with Lori would only be short changing myself and my daughter, which needs to be the priority. plus, our relationship was started on questionable terms, and is not a proper beginning to what we had mutually hoped was going to be something more long term.

    over the course of the past three days, i am emtionally drained. i've shed tears for my wife, i've shed a whole lot of tears for my daughter, and then mustered the bone dry well and got some for Lori

    this place is very happy and joyful, and though i've had my offbeat contributions, i am not in the right frame of mind to contribute anything useful here at this time. plus, i need to focus on myself and my daughter. additionally, there are too many memories here of Lori, this is where it all started..........

    so, for the time being, i'm off. i'm going to heal, and i'm going to concentrate on my daughter adjusting and strengthening our relationship. i'm not responding to the last questions in Dear GD yet........that is my window back in when i am ready

    you are all a great bunch of people, and i think the world of everyone. take care of yourselves, and be good to one another.

    i shall return

  2. #2
    GrumpyDude's Avatar
    GrumpyDude is offline Unfortunately, this user's actions have resulted in him/her being BANNED from the site
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    i hope Lori doesn't get mad, but with everything i deleted all the pics i had, except one.......

    like they say, a picture says a thousand words.

    i will miss you guys, and Lori, if you ever see this, i will definitely miss you, and thank you for the strength and support and the great memories, and i'll never forget what/why i've learned from you.
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  3. #3
    ChipNDale's Avatar
    ChipNDale is offline Yeah, my Rubber Duck wears a Tiara FCOL!
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    Grumpy,
    I appreciated you sharing your story with us and I hope for nothing but the best for you. My prayers are with you and your family as well as lori in all that you all have been through and are going through. I know I may not know both of you, but I do hope that things all work out for the best in the end. Take care and God Bless!

    Stacy
    WHAFTFCOL now who wants a cookie!?!
    Copy Right of S&B LLC.
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  4. #4
    SnwhtNdwrfs's Avatar
    SnwhtNdwrfs is offline Dancing with the dwarfs!
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    I wish you the best of luck, GD. You will be miss greatly but I totally understand why you are doing this. I will be thinking of you often. Thanks.


  5. #5
    Dumbogal's Avatar
    Dumbogal is offline Sarcasm - Just another free service I offer..
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    GD,

    I wish nothing but the best for you dude. I hope you are able to keep the positivity with your wife and continue to have an awesome relationship with your daughter. I will not pretend to know you well, if at all - but one thing I have learned about you through your posts and pictures is that you are crazy about your daughter... I hope all works out for you.... Your GD posts will be missed

    Joanne
    Dizpinfriend on VMK



    Once she was a lowly housemaid dressed in rags. Now she's got a fairy godmother, she's filthy rich, and she lives in a palace with her dreamboat husband.......It's further proof, that the right shoes CAN change your life!

    My own low-tech version of Push!!!

  6. #6
    DissyLove's Avatar
    DissyLove is offline Wendy's real. I've seen her, so don't even start with me.
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    GD-Nothing to really say, either to make you feel better or contribute. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you, your family, and everyone involved. Be well in your time off, hope it is a time of reflection and a time to rejuvinate. And a little can't hurt, either....
    I am in need of some Disney magic!!

  7. #7
    butlers's Avatar
    butlers is offline Lost in Tenderness!!!!!!
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    May GOD bless you, keep you, and give you strength that you will need.
    April 23rd, oh yeah it's gonna be ON!

  8. #8
    JEDIPRINCESS's Avatar
    JEDIPRINCESS is offline I'm going back to the World YAHOO
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    Hey Todd not sure what to say about this but I'll keep you and the family in my thoughts and prayers.




    YES I"M GOING BACK AGAIN FOR HALLOWEEN

  9. #9
    zcook9's Avatar
    zcook9 is offline Not close enough to the magic!
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    GD, I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. There is a reason for everything. Even though things look bleak right now, everything WILL work itself out in the end. It may not be what you want right now or expect, but don't worry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. We will ALL miss you deeply, while you are away, but don't forget- we are your friends here and if you ever need a shoulder or ear, we will be here for you .


    See ya later gator
    Laura
    DISNEY SCRAPPER

  10. #10
    disneylady's Avatar
    disneylady is offline REMEMBERING THE MAGIC
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    GD......................SO SORRY TO READ YOUR NEWS.......KEEP STRONG..........ONE DAY YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN....................MY SON,S MARRIAGE BROKE UP (3 CHILDREN )AT THE TIME HE COULDN,T SEE A WAY PAST THE HURT.....................BUT NOW HE IS FINE & HAPPY & HAS A GREAT INVOLVEMENT WITH HIS CHILDREN....THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. HOPE YOU WILL COME BACK TO DWT.....ONE DAY.YOU WILL BE MISSED HERE.....NEVER SAY NEVER .GOOD LUCK GRUMPYDUDE

    I Belle
    Maggie



  11. #11
    Tinker Bell is offline DisneyWorldTrivia.com Lifetime Pass
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    We don't know each other but your situation touched me, I just wanted to wish you all the best during this rough patch, when kids are involved it's never easy or simple.

    A little off-topic but reading this confirms my recent realization that virtual or online relationships can be very "real". I've only been on here a short period of time and I've met some fantastic people that I'd be proud to call my friends. I am so thankful to have found this place (thanks Lou!), I hope that I can make a real difference in some of my new friends lives the way that some have already changed and enriched mine. I'm a lucky girl.

    Lori, if you read this, I wish you all the best as well. Keep in touch.


  12. #12
    dzney4lyf's Avatar
    dzney4lyf is offline i come with a warning
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    this is going to be my last post for the time being. everything todd has said is true. what started off as a great friendship turned into something more. neither of us expected it yet neither of us denied it. after spending so much of my time talking todd, i put my own problems on the backburner scared to face the reality of my own marriage coming to an end. two weeks ago i asked my husband for a divorce. as some of you already know in these past two weeks i could not have been happier. for what reasons i was unsure of. that is also when i finally got the chance to meet the most amazing person in the world, todd. he has showed me so much. i will forever be thankful of him.



    what made last night happen was an uncertainy i had. was i ending my marraige because of another person in my life, or was it because my marraige was already done and over with. in order to know for sure i had to let go and hurt the one person who means the world to me... i'm sorry. i had to end things with todd in order to make sure this was what i truly wanted. i asked my husband to come back home. it seemed like i needed to either start all over with him or end it with some real closure. today i knew for sure that things were over. for the past two weeks that happiness i had, suddenly disappeared. i was back to feeling trapped in a one sided marriage that i could never change. my husband came over again today and we talked for hours. we have come to the decison it is best to end this now before we both get hurt more than we already were. i still love him, but i know that we are just not meant to be as husband and wife. as friends we are great but when it comes times to deal with any of our relationship issues we cannot agree... so we have finally agreed to disagree and end things.



    as for what may come for me in the future, i don't know. i think everything happens for a reason. i do not regret anything that i have done in regards to my husband. i did have a lot of fun times in the past 9.5 years we were together. but those fun times cannot replace the lost trust our marriage and our relationship has suffered.



    to todd, you are wondeful... i am not mad at all about the picture. it actually puts a smile on my face. i hope you can forgive me for hurting you. i hope this may one day make us stronger. i love you.

  13. #13
    dfreakace's Avatar
    dfreakace is offline Slowly Bringing Green Back Into Style
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    Grumpy~

    I didn't know you well... at all. After seeing that you can share a story like that though I have immense respect for you because you trust everybody on here enough as if they were your family. Everything happens for a reason and in the end it always turns out for the best, you take all the time in the world you need.

    ~Josh
    VMK ADDICT!


    VMK Name: Dfreakace
    Current Project: Going to lead a Mini -MM- Build

    That's Me!


  14. #14
    Tampa is offline No longer in service
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    Quote Originally Posted by dzney4lyf
    to todd... i love you.


    Once you are loved, it shall never end. Once you are held, it will happen again. Faith is the key, as all will be taken away. And choice will make it free, to come back one day. Through tribulation and dispair, it's all going to be right. When you're made well aware, and can see in the light. So say it even louder, make it echo to no end. That you are loved, and I will see you again.

    -Joey

  15. #15
    PumpkinJack81's Avatar
    PumpkinJack81 is offline Some say to survive it you need to be as a mad as a hatter...
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    Quote Originally Posted by dfreakace
    After seeing that you can share a story like that though I have immense respect for you because you trust everybody on here enough as if they were your family.
    That's because we are a family here and both Todd and Lori have been a big part of it. We love you both so very much... I'll be thinking of you and your families during this emotional and difficult time, praying for God's will to be done in your lives and lead you to the happiness you each deserve. s and heading your way...

    ~Bobby
    ~Bobby Jack

    When you hear the knell of a requiem bell weird glows gleam where spirits dwell
    Restless bones etherealize rise as spooks of every size
    Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!





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