Feeling kinda bummy and blue
Sorry I haven't posted lately.. been going through a lot here.
As you know, we just made a big move...we moved from an apartment to a house, about an hr away from where we were living. As you also know, this is something we reeeeeeeeeaaaallllly wanted, for so long. This is the first time my kids have lived in a house (me too!) and the first time we have had a yard for them to play in (now to buy equipment for them to play on!)
So why do I just feel so blue?? I don't understand this at all. The best I can come up with is....that even though this is definitely a change we wanted, and looked forward to soooooo much, but it is a *lot* of change going on. Even though I'm happy to only be a few minutes from Disney World, I am also out in this new area where I don't know a single soul. I feel very lonely. While we didn't do a whole lot of playdates before, at least they were *there*, kwim. Well, we were in a MomsClub (there isn't one out here), so thats how I got to know people, and it was nice to know people were there. Of course there are people in our neighborhood, and the neighborhoods around here... but I don't know *anyone*. I am thinking of trying MOPS to get to know some people, but they only meet 2x a month, and the next meeting (the 11th) I can't do b/c I have a Dr appt that day, so I guess I'm looking at the end of the month before I can go. Also, we had cable in our apartment, and now we have nothing (rabbit ears). I know this seems stupid.... but it's kinda depressing to not be able to just wake up and have our normal routine (watching a couple prerecorded shows, that are cable shows so we can't watch now). Man I could not *wait* to get out of an apartment... and I'm happy to be in a house, but why do I feel this way? Why do I feel so lonely (when privacy was huge on our list of reasons to move out of an apartment).Another thing that probably sounds dumb....but I am *scared to death* of lizards, frogs, etc....and there is lizard-mania outside here, and also tree frogs. So half the time I'm scared to even go outside, the other half the time I spend constantly afraid they are going to get in the house somehow. I think I will just faint one day when I find a lizard in the house and dh isn't home!!! I am trying soooooo hard to get over this, because I know it is inevitable it's going to happen one day. I mean my heart has about jumped out of my skin on days when I've *thought* I've seen one....let alone when I actually DO see one! :wow: :wow:
Then there is the fact that there are a few things that we found out after we moved here..like the major fireant problem (and this house isn't even that old.....maybe about 10yrs or less? I mean it's a nice neighborhood, newer stucco homes and manicured lawns, etc.) Dh took care of that immediately, thankgoodness, w/some fireant stuff inside and outside. Then there is the leak in the roof/attic..which needs repairing, the pool that has been green since we moved in (and the pool guy was coming out every couple days, til it gets clear, then it's our responsibility) Fine-but he hasn't been out in a week. Finally yesterday dh's dad was here and talked him into just doing it ourselves instead of waiting on him to come back. So we have been working on that so that hopefully in a few days we can swim. Then just yesterday we discovered that the a/c vent in the LR is leaking on the edge, and lo and behold there appears to be mold there! It's very hard to tell, because these are high vaulted ceilings (I'd guess about 15 ft.) and w/o a ladder you can't exactly get up there, but the flashlight on it sure looks like it, and I wouldn't be suprised since that's where the drops of water have been felt.) *sigh* So there's all these things going on...on top of just the change of moving, and feeling alone. This reminds me so much of how I have felt after having a new baby~a big change that we sooooooo were looking forward to, and when it's finally here, the first few days are bliss.....new baby, dh home, la la la. Then reality sets in, and dh goes back to work, now you are stuck home w/this new human being, your regular daily life has changed drastically. You feel like you are the only one going through it, since dh still gets up and goes to work (where he spends most of his day), and you are home. So *his* majority of his time hasn't changed (work), but my majority of my time (home w/a new person, new disruption to daily life) has totally changed. Dh can't understand why (in this situation, and also in the situation of a new babe) I would feel so blue, since this is what I wanted.....and part of me can't understand it either! Why do I feel like crying??? *sigh*
ETA~I forgot.....another change going on is that dh will now be working two jobs. Although thankfully it's only M, W, F evenings...so it isn't a wacky schedule, but it does mean he's gone more.