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General Discussions Discuss Feeling kinda bummy and blue in the Community Center forums; Sorry I haven't posted lately.. been going through a lot here. As you know, we just made a big move...we moved from an apartment to a house, about an hr ...
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    HomeofLove4Him's Avatar
    HomeofLove4Him is offline E-Ticket Holder
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    Feeling kinda bummy and blue

    Sorry I haven't posted lately.. been going through a lot here.

    As you know, we just made a big move...we moved from an apartment to a house, about an hr away from where we were living. As you also know, this is something we reeeeeeeeeaaaallllly wanted, for so long. This is the first time my kids have lived in a house (me too!) and the first time we have had a yard for them to play in (now to buy equipment for them to play on!)

    So why do I just feel so blue?? I don't understand this at all. The best I can come up with is....that even though this is definitely a change we wanted, and looked forward to soooooo much, but it is a *lot* of change going on. Even though I'm happy to only be a few minutes from Disney World, I am also out in this new area where I don't know a single soul. I feel very lonely. While we didn't do a whole lot of playdates before, at least they were *there*, kwim. Well, we were in a MomsClub (there isn't one out here), so thats how I got to know people, and it was nice to know people were there. Of course there are people in our neighborhood, and the neighborhoods around here... but I don't know *anyone*. I am thinking of trying MOPS to get to know some people, but they only meet 2x a month, and the next meeting (the 11th) I can't do b/c I have a Dr appt that day, so I guess I'm looking at the end of the month before I can go. Also, we had cable in our apartment, and now we have nothing (rabbit ears). I know this seems stupid.... but it's kinda depressing to not be able to just wake up and have our normal routine (watching a couple prerecorded shows, that are cable shows so we can't watch now). Man I could not *wait* to get out of an apartment... and I'm happy to be in a house, but why do I feel this way? Why do I feel so lonely (when privacy was huge on our list of reasons to move out of an apartment).Another thing that probably sounds dumb....but I am *scared to death* of lizards, frogs, etc....and there is lizard-mania outside here, and also tree frogs. So half the time I'm scared to even go outside, the other half the time I spend constantly afraid they are going to get in the house somehow. I think I will just faint one day when I find a lizard in the house and dh isn't home!!! I am trying soooooo hard to get over this, because I know it is inevitable it's going to happen one day. I mean my heart has about jumped out of my skin on days when I've *thought* I've seen one....let alone when I actually DO see one!

    Then there is the fact that there are a few things that we found out after we moved here..like the major fireant problem (and this house isn't even that old.....maybe about 10yrs or less? I mean it's a nice neighborhood, newer stucco homes and manicured lawns, etc.) Dh took care of that immediately, thankgoodness, w/some fireant stuff inside and outside. Then there is the leak in the roof/attic..which needs repairing, the pool that has been green since we moved in (and the pool guy was coming out every couple days, til it gets clear, then it's our responsibility) Fine-but he hasn't been out in a week. Finally yesterday dh's dad was here and talked him into just doing it ourselves instead of waiting on him to come back. So we have been working on that so that hopefully in a few days we can swim. Then just yesterday we discovered that the a/c vent in the LR is leaking on the edge, and lo and behold there appears to be mold there! It's very hard to tell, because these are high vaulted ceilings (I'd guess about 15 ft.) and w/o a ladder you can't exactly get up there, but the flashlight on it sure looks like it, and I wouldn't be suprised since that's where the drops of water have been felt.) *sigh* So there's all these things going on...on top of just the change of moving, and feeling alone. This reminds me so much of how I have felt after having a new baby~a big change that we sooooooo were looking forward to, and when it's finally here, the first few days are bliss.....new baby, dh home, la la la. Then reality sets in, and dh goes back to work, now you are stuck home w/this new human being, your regular daily life has changed drastically. You feel like you are the only one going through it, since dh still gets up and goes to work (where he spends most of his day), and you are home. So *his* majority of his time hasn't changed (work), but my majority of my time (home w/a new person, new disruption to daily life) has totally changed. Dh can't understand why (in this situation, and also in the situation of a new babe) I would feel so blue, since this is what I wanted.....and part of me can't understand it either! Why do I feel like crying??? *sigh*

    ETA~I forgot.....another change going on is that dh will now be working two jobs. Although thankfully it's only M, W, F evenings...so it isn't a wacky schedule, but it does mean he's gone more.

  2. #2
    Jiminy Cricket's Avatar
    Jiminy Cricket is offline Ultimate Park "Hopper"
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    Sounds you have a lot going on in your life now that is upsetting you. Just hang in there and have faith and everything will work out.
    Lord High Keeper of the Knowledge of Right and Wrong, Counselor in Moments of Temptation, and Guide along the Straight and Narrow Path and Oldest Active DWT/WDW Radio Member

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  3. #3
    HappyDznyCamper's Avatar
    HappyDznyCamper is offline Annual Passholder
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    Big changes take time to get used to. Now matter how ready you are to make them they can still be very emotionaly draining. Go for walks around your new neighborhood(exersise is a good mood enhancer)maybe you will see other stay at home moms, go to the meeting at the end of the week and just keep thinking about all the new memories and traditions you can make in your new home. Give yourself time to adjust things will always work out in the end.
    Maggie

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    mini-V's Avatar
    mini-V is offline Home at last near Mickey!
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    Oh my goodness, I thought I'd written the beginning of this thead under an assummed name! I have made several major moves in my married lifetime, and I felt very much like you did every time. We have made most of these moves due to my husband's job. He goes to work, and I'm left at home to restart my life...again. In the early years I had a small child to tend too, but for the last 15 years, I've had only myself to talk to during the day. I know exactly how you feel, but I am pleased to say that this too will pass.

    When we came to London, we had to stay in temporary quarters for 6 weeks. I hadn't expected it to take that long. Then when we finally got keys to our flat, we got a chance to get some groceries and cleaning products; things that we needed to get settled. We didn't know that the cleaning crew had not finished so we didn't think to mark the bags of groceries we put in the cupboard. When we moved in, everything was gone. That was tough enough, but we had NO tv, the phone didn't work, and the laptop computer broke. Our belonging weren't going to be delivered for 2 more weeks, and I was really lost and depressed. Everyone I had met worked during the day. I was not too sure of taking the tube or the bus, and I was rather afraid to go too far from the flat. The bank was taking forever to get our dollars converted. Money was tight and everything seemed 3 times as expensive as at home...if I could find it.

    I've been in London for a year now, and I am so involved with volunteer work that sometimes I lust for the quiet days. I get around pretty good on my own now, and I've learned NOT to convert pounds to dollars...especially if I'm in the Disney store.

    When we bought our brand new house in Florida, we had a major problem with fire ants. The washer gushed water down the hallway on the second floor. The dishwasher didn't work...funny...it actually has to be connected to work. Building the pool took 8 months and we still have minor glitches to work out. Being a home owner is ALWAYS fun. Even with all the problems it was better than being crammed into a one bedroom apartment in NY City; and I've done that too.

    It will get better. Promise! I agree that walking the neighborhood will do three things: 1. You'll eventually become familiar with your surrounds and you might just get to know your neighbors. 2. You'll get those endorphines going that will help with the depression. 3. You'll be out of the house and forget about what is not on TV. (I usually opt to listen to the radio in my new town/city. That helps with the TV thing.)

    I have a horrible fear of mice and geckos so I KNOW where you are coming from. Why not invest in a long handled fish net; the kind they use in an aquarium. Should you have an unwelcome visitor it might be a good tool to help you move it to the ouside or at least contain it until you can talk someone else into moving it to the outside. (If I find a mouse, you'll probably be able to hear me from where you are.)

    What are my credials for moving? I've lived in 7 states and two other continents besides North America. Our daughter never celebrated Christmas in the same house till she was 9 years old.

    PM me if you need another pep talk. Oh, and pretty soon you can start thinking about how you can try some new decorations for Christmas! New house....new ideas. (You could start making some new decorations now too.) Have you checked out the library in your new area to see if there are some storytimes? A cardboard box can entertain a child for a long time; forts, playhouses, Cinderella's castle???? lol Hope you didn't get rid of all those packing boxes yet.

    Keep in touch.
    mini-V What will you celebrate?

    Adult daycare for the kid inside you.

  5. #5
    HappyDznyCamper's Avatar
    HappyDznyCamper is offline Annual Passholder
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    The library is a great idea Mini-V, most due offer childrens story times and other activities that would be a great way to meet other parents that don't work during the day. Plus it is FREE
    Maggie

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