I'm a widowed dad with 3 kids, ages 12, 9 and 9.
Hotel-wise, with 5 people I'd either rent some DVC points and get a 1 bedroom villa, or get a family suite at Art of Animation.
Trip planning wise, we do less, and enjoy it more. We like doing mornings in the parks, eat an early lunch, then head back to the hotel afterwards. Depending on the weather, and how the kids feel, we usually spend afternoons at the pool or having a nap. Then we go back out for our dinner, and either back to a park or back to the pool.
The main thing is to get the kids help in teh planning early. Let them pick out a table service restaurant and help with the hotel selection. Also, take the time to go slowly and enjoy the details. It's not about the attractions, but about the memories.