Despite the despicable efforts of every Disney villain to claim out-and-out victory in a battle of good vs. evil, not one of them succeeds in his or her respective tale. Although each one employs unique forms of coldhearted trickery, he or she is thwarted while in pursuit of the prize and the win. Though the villain does his or her dead level best to do his or her wicked worst, the fiendish baddie never manages to prevail over the heroes and heroines we all cheer for and love. Since those on the side of good always vanquish the evildoers in the Disney films, it might be interesting to see how the wicked ones fare when pitted against each other. That’s right, evil verses evil. Imagine if two malevolent Disney villains—both of whom excel at being exceedingly bad—were to oppose one another in an epic clash for the ultimate prize, the win. One declared the winner, the other, the loser, again. The question is, in the following battles, which one do you think would be victorious…
In a battle of wits?
In The Sword in the Stone, Madam Mim faces off in a battle of wits during a wizards duel with Merlin. She utilizes every trick and technicality in an effort to best him, but he ultimately defeats her. Would the quick thinking, impressively manipulative, fiery tempered Hades—the Greek god of the underworld in Hercules’—be a match for Mim or would she finally come out the victor?
In a battle of great weapons?
One weapon is a case of futuristic artificial intelligence gone rogue while the other is impressive for its simplicity. In Meet the Robinsons, the Bowler Hat Guy, a.k.a. Mike Yagoobian, makes use of Doris the Helping Hat (perhaps it is more accurate to say Doris makes use of him) in his attempt to ruin the life of protagonist Lewis Robinson. On the other hand, in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the Evil Queen uses an innocent looking apple to poison Snow White in her quest to eliminate the “Fairest One of All”. Which is the better weapon, one with a mind of its own, or the other, effective in its innocent simplicity?
In a battle of master planning?
In a great quote from The Emperor’s New Groove, Yzma explains just one of her many potential evil plans, “Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!” In The Incredibles, Syndrome also crafts and executes an elaborate, diabolical plot to draw Super after Super to his island in an effort to capture his nemesis, Mr. Incredible. Who is the ultimate master planner?
In a battle of the ultimate lackey?
One, despite his mistakes and faults, is Captain Hook’s consummate servant, Mr. Smee, in Peter Pan while the other is Jafar’s sarcastic and begrudging, but very capable, feathered shoulder-sitter, Iago, in Aladdin. The question is, what makes a better lackey, passive blind subservience or aggressive loud-mouthed, effectiveness?
In a battle of the best evil song?
Two evil women use their vocal prowess to manipulate and deceive two of our favorite young Disney heroines. In Tangled, Mother Gothel skillfully uses, “Mother Knows Best” to frighten and guilt optimistic, adventure-seeking Rapunzel into remaining in her tower. In The Little Mermaid‘s, “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, Ursala opines her ability to grant the deprived and depressed the desires of his or her heart, including Ariel’s wish to be human. Both songs are known by millions, but whose has the greater power to control?
In a battle of ruthlessness?
According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, ruthless means “having no pity; cruel or merciless”. While most villains could be described as exactly that, Lady Tremaine in Cinderella and Prince Hans in Frozen stand out for their particularly ruthless behavior, which is all for the sake of self-advancement. But, who is the most ruthless—the one who would use her step-daughter as a servant and deny her a future with the man she loves or the other who would feign love in order to take away the kingdom?
In a battle of vanity?
Two Disney villains have never met a mirror they did not like. Their self-adoration is so all-consuming that they actually sing songs devoted entirely to their individual greatness. In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston brags, “As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating.” In The Great Mouse Detective, Professor Ratigan boasts about how he is “the head that made headlines in every newspaper”. Whose excessive pride surpasses the other’s?
In a battle of supernatural skills?
The Princess and the Frog‘s Doctor Facilier, also known as the Shadow Man, is a witch doctor with “friends on the other side” who can look into the past and future, conjure, and grant the “desires” of his victims’ hearts. Sleeping Beauty‘s Maleficent is a scorned evil fairy who has the power to put a curse on someone, hypnotize people and transform herself into a fearsome dragon. Whose powers are greater?
In a battle of epic jealousy?
One villain so jealous of his relatives’ power and status attempts, more than once, to kill his young nephew, and actually kills his own older brother in order to become king. The other, upon finding out that his employer’s family of cats will inherit her fortune ahead of him, stoops to kidnapping and abandoning the cats in the countryside. Ultimately, they return to the mansion, so he plots to ship them to Timbuktu. Whose jealousy is more epic, Uncle Scar of The Lion King or Edgar of The Aristocats?
In a battle of gargantuan greed?
Greed drives many villains to perform heinous acts, but two Disney villains avariciousness is extremely strong. Governor Ratcliffe of Pocahontas is willing to destroy the land belonging to an established society in his unending quest for gold. While his acts affect an entire people group, Madame Medusa of The Rescuers kidnaps one little orphan girl who she forces into a dangerous, dirty cave all so she can be the owner of the Devil’s Eye Diamond. Whose greed is greater?
Kendall is an editor and contributing writer for WDW Radio. She began visiting Walt Disney World in 1991 with her family and has continued to visit the resort with her husband. Her home-away-from-home is Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort, and she believes a perfect day at WDW includes a dip in the Lava Pool, a ride on Splash Mountain and a Pineapple Dole Whip. Follow her on Twitter @kl_foreman.